Stormy Weather.

I hate when I'm right.

The dentist? Well, I argued with him for a good ten minutes. He was trying to convince me that it's okay for me to have novocaine. I just kept telling him, "YOU wrote it on my chart. I can't have novocaine. It doesn't work. It just makes my face swell up." But, he just kept insisting that it was fine. So, I just told him to go right ahead. Low and behold, I felt the entirety of the procedure, and my face was swelled for several hours. It still is, just a little bit.

I thought that would be the end of my bad day, but, oh no. When I have a bad day, I have a bad day. When Kyle came on to say goodnight, he was really upset because he was tired and stressed out and all he wanted to do was sleep, but he couldn't because he still had a ton of homework to do and he felt awful for not being able to make time for me. And knowing that he was like that made me feel absolutely terrible, and helpless. I actually curled up on the couch and cried for a half hour, just wishing there was anything I could do to help. I painstakingly offered to cope with only talking to him only once a week, if it would help take some stress off [he hasn't read the message yet]. What else can I do? I mean, I'm sure it doesn't make him very happy knowing that I'll wait for him, doing barely anything else, for hours on end, usually upset and having paranoid delusions that he's ignoring me, or that something's happened to him. And, then once he comes on, he usually can't stay for long, so I get upset when he has to leave. I know he doesn't have any other choice, so I should just stop being upset because it's not helping either of us. I told him before that he was going to end up stressing himself out. He bulks on activities after activities. And some of his grades are suffering as a result.

He didn't believe me when I said he thrives off of stress during the school year. I think he's beginning to see my point.

Oh, and it turns out my Oceanography teacher's been hitting on me. I thought he was just being nice to me because I'm the only person in the class with half a brain, but it always seemed kind of weird. Well, he handed back tests yesterday, I had gotten a one hundred to he made some sort of comment. Then, after he waled away, Sarah leaned over to me and was like, "You know he's been hitting on you, right?" Well, that explains that weird extra-friendliness. Now that class is totally awkward to be in.

So, now I sit here. Upset and worried, wondering if Kyle's okay. Today's a Tuesday, so I've got this class for an hour and a half. I've gotten through an hour, I still have a half left. Rehearsal tonight from Seven to nine. I'd much rather it be from two to five, because there's a possibility Kyle could be on between seven and nine. That's another thing; I wait so long knowing that the odds of him going to be on aren't good, because anytime I come on and see that he was on and I've missed him, I get really angry with myself. Even if I come on and see that he's on, and has been for a half hour, I get angry. Why didn't I come on earlier? Why'd I make him wait? So, instead of getting angry, I just wait. For hours. And, when I say hours, I mean hours. On Sunday, I sat infront of my computer for eight hours, just waiting. Afraid to get up and allow someone else on, afraid he might come on and I'd miss him.


Eh. I'm gonna call it quits for now and look at colleges. That's semi-productive, right?